WHY BABAE?

Violence occurs against women of all races, ethnicities, nationalities, religions, socioeconomic status, immigration status, and sexual orientations. Filipinas are not immune. These stories are based on actual BABAE cases…names and details have been changed to protect the women’s identities.

“Letty”

After two years of “dating” via the telephone, 43-year-old Letty was petitioned on a K-1 “fiancée” visa by her Filipino-American boyfriend, whom she met while he was on vacation in the Philippines visiting mutual friends. After they were married, he forced her to work as an “exotic dancer” at a local strip club to help pay the bills. She resisted saying she was a teacher in the Philippines and would like to teach instead. He beat her saying “stripping will bring in more money” as he was let go from his job. He said he “did her a favor” bringing her to the States for a better life, made her sleep on the floor if they had an argument, took her paycheck and giving her a weekly “allowance” of $20. She later found out that he was married once before and was divorced on the grounds of “inhuman treatment” against his first wife. He put her down in front of friends and his extended family who lived downstairs. They lived in a small apartment in Queens with her 10-year-old daughter from her previous marriage. He abandoned Letty after she found out that he had been sexually molesting her daughter.

“Agnes”

32-year-old Agnes was born in the Philippines, but moved to the States when she was 3 and settled in Staten Island with her family. She works as a sales associate in a clothing store and is being sexually harassed by her manager. He makes comments to her and others in front of her about how much he “loves Filipinas…they’re so beautiful and sexy and wild in bed.” He started making obscene phone calls to her at home in the middle of the night saying he and his friend want “to tie her up and rape her.” She tried to file a complaint with the human resources manager, then the district manager, but they told her “not to make any waves.”

“Mae”

Mae is a 50-year-old woman from the Philippines who began corresponding with a 67-year-old divorced, Caucasian-American man from central New Jersey after he saw her picture on a Web site for men who want to meet Filipina women. After about a year of corresponding, the man visited the Philippines on several occasions. He was very nice to her and her family, often sending money and gifts. Two years later, he proposed and brought her to the United States on a K-1 “fiancée” visa. They married, and almost immediately afterwards, she began to see dramatic changes in his behavior towards her. A retired attorney, he revealed himself to be very controlling of whom she sees, whom she talks to, where she goes, and what she eats. He disappears for days at a time not telling her where he’s going or when he’ll be back. When she asks him about it, he either yells at her to mind her own business or tells her that she’s paranoid. He also chats with other Filipinas online whom he met through “International Pen Pal” sites right in front of her. Several different women keep calling their house asking to speak with him. Mae has also been experiencing various gynecological problems. She has contracted a venereal disease. When she threatens to leave him, he threatens to report her to immigration and still has not filed her “adjustment of status” papers that would enable her to get a green card and work to support herself.

“Julie”

Julie is a 21-year-old college student from Long Island, where she was born and raised. She met her boyfriend at a Filipino Student Association party at school. He came from a “good family” and her parents were happy she met a “nice” boy. After several dates, he forced her to have sex with him. She was very upset, but was ashamed to tell anyone about it, especially her parents. He apologized afterwards buying her flowers and gifts. This continued to be the pattern in their relationship: forced sex and apologies afterwards. He also revealed himself to be a very jealous and controlling person, not allowing her to talk to other men and hitting her when she does. Julie wants to join the school’s women’s organization and take some women’s studies classes, but he won’t let her saying they’ll put a “bunch of crazy ideas” in her head. She also noticed he’s been drinking a lot of alcohol and gets “even rougher” after he drinks.

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